In recent weeks, as I’ve looked back on these past 4 years here, I find myself often asking the following question:

“Was it worth it?”

            Was it worth it for me to stumble into academic probation spring quarter of my freshman year, and to have to spend the next 3 years of my college career trying to salvage a GPA that was seemingly beyond repair? Was it worth it for me to have to undergo a painful process of God humbling me to a degree I had never experienced before, not only academically but physically, musically, and spiritually as well? Was it worth it for me to experience the pain and discomfort of being away from home for an extended period of time, apart from a support system of friends and family that I had believed to be so necessary for me to maintain my sanity? MOST importantly, however, was it worth it for me to continue investing myself in the relationships around me? To give my all to a group of people who might hurt or violate me from time to time, to try to build substantial camaraderie between myself and various individuals with whom I probably wouldn’t even communicate significantly with after my time here is over?

            After Senior Focus, hearing various “thank you’s”, reading numerous notes and feeling loved down to the very core of my being…I can honestly say that every single moment I’ve spent with each and every one of you has been more than worth it. As I said last night, I truly believe that this community here at Northwestern is God’s resounding answer to a meek prayer request 4 years ago, during a time when so much confusion and uncertainty seemed to be the only things that occupied my mind and heart. I am not discounting the fact that our community struggles in many ways- broken relationships, distrust, gossip…many (if not all) of us in this community have experienced all of these things at one point or another, regardless of how long we’ve been here. What I do want to emphasize, however, and what I truly pray for this community to experience in the future, is the realization of what a privilege and blessing it is to have one another. Each and every member of this fellowship has qualities so profound and beautiful to offer one another, and I can sincerely say that I have been able to gain a greater glimpse of the vastness of God’s glory through having known each of you. Whether I’ve only spoken to you once or twice, or whether I consider you to be among my closest group of friends, I truly am thankful to God for having brought you into my life.

            A great wave of sadness washes over me as I write this, and it pains me to be parting with these past 4 years. I’ll admit that I might not be the best at keeping in contact with some of you after I leave here; I haven’t done too well at keeping in touch with seniors in the past. Do not ever neglect, however, the fact that each of you has made a profound impact on my life (and I’m sure the rest of the senior class would agree as well), and that these experiences here have created a significant impression on my memory that will not be forgotten. You have all helped teach me how to love as God desires for us to love, as well as the joy of understanding what it means to be loved by God as well. I can only hope that as I and the other seniors leave, that we have in some small way been able to convey this to you all through our lives, and that through you, future brothers and sisters will be able to further understand what it means to love, and to be loved as well. Thanks again, everybody.

3 I thank my God every time I remember you. 4 In all my prayers for all of you, I always pray with joy 5 because of your partnership in the gospel from the first day until now,  6being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus.

9 And this is my prayer: that your love may abound more and more in knowledge and depth of insight, 10 so that you may be able to discern what is best and may be pure and blameless until the day of Christ, 11 filled with the fruit of righteousness that comes through Jesus Christ—to the glory and praise of God.

            -Philippians 1:3-6, 9-11